More on Benoit’s mental state
July 5th, 2007Most people are interested in Benoit’s toxicology report because they want blood proof that he was using and abusing steroids. I’m interested in his toxicology report so that I can know just what he was using when he killed his wife and then snapped on the rest of his family. I want to know what transformed a man who loved his child and was kind to everyone into a man who committed a despicable double-murder suicide.
This testimony by generally-unknown wrestler John Walters is baffling and disturbing, and it shows us — along with all the other universally kind words said of Chris Benoit — that the monster who murders his children, robs a bank or destroys a life doesn’t live in a dark apartment near an alley in an inner city far away from us: he lives right next door, inside your house, and sometimes inside of you.
The past few days have been crazy in the wrestling world. I can only imagine what Chris Benoit’s really close friends and co-workers are feeling. I have been waiting and waiting for the this whole tragedy to turn into something different, but it looks as if it is as real and gruesome as it sounds. Over a 3 year period, I did a lot of work for WWE. I was involved in about 20 dark matches, skits, heat and velocity matches, etc. I remember one night in particular, after a sunday night heat match, I was pulled aside by Chris Benoit. He told me how much he was impressed with my work and that he really liked my intensity. I was thrilled to have the endorsement of one of the finest wrestlers on the planet. From that day forward, Chris Benoit went out of his way to help me in any way I asked. He sent me instant messages encouraging me that I did a great job in my matches, he asked me to send him a tape to watch, and he was one of the first people to congratulate me on my first tour to Japan. He became a close friend over emails and phone conversations. Even about a month ago he was asking me when I would be back at WWE tv. From what I understand, he showed the same compassion to a lot of the rising stars in WWE. He made it clear that he wanted to help the next generation of stars to progress. Another thing I noticed about Chris Benoit was that he always spoke of his family. He told me about Nancy’s neck surgery and how he loved playing with his son around the house. Now, all of a sudden, this tragedy has made everyone wonder, was that the real Chris Benoit, or was it just a front. I am so confused and saddened by what happened, that is is so overwhelming to even think about. You run all of these different scenarios in your head, that it begins to drive you crazy. The fact of the matter is, 3 people are dead. Could it have been stopped? Were there warning signs? Was it planned for a long time? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions.
A friend asked me today what I thought had happened with the Benoit situation. That is, “What do you think caused him to do it?” I told her that I have no answer and don’t know more than anyone else, but if I had to guess, I’d say that Nancy told Chris she was leaving him because of their marital problems, he had a fit, they fought and then he killed her. He spent several hours soul-searching and for some reason or other decided to kill his son and himself, which would explain the timeframe, the alcohol by his body and the rambling, confused text messages he sent the WWE. I don’t know what happened, though, and I have no excuses to make for him, but I’m having trouble believing that Benoit planned to murder his wife and kids for a significant amount of time and the act doesn’t necessarily point to that, either.
To me, it seems like 1/4th tragic, terrible accident, 2/4s drug and alcohol induced stupor, 1/4th anger/sadness. Like I said, I don’t think there are any excuses, but that’s what I’ve been thinking, based on what I know.
The following is more insight into Chris Benoit’s mental state (source PWmania):
Reports are suggesting that people noticed Chris Benoit become a different person after Eddie Guerrero passed away. His wife Nancy was telling her friends that Chris Benoit’s drug usage escalated badly after Eddie Guerrero died. After the death of neighbour Mike Durham (Johnny Grudge) and Victor “Black Cat” Mar, Chris Benoit became worse. Benoit was considered to be Victor Mar’s best friend during his time in Japan and Benoit refused to attend Durham’s funeral, saying he never wanted to return to church and hated religion.
A WWE source said Nancy was a described as a basket case on Thursday, which was a day before reports suggest Benoit killed her. Nancy was upset over the recent passing of her friend, Sherri Martel. Shane Helms also said that Chris Benoit called him on Thursday to check up on how he is keeping as Helms is recovering from a neck surgery.
If you look at the whole situation, a picture begins to form of a man who had problems with his wife and drugs, but loved wrestling, wrestlers and his child. When you add in the strains of being a professional wrestler, the damage done to a human’s psyche by drug abuse, the fact that he seemed off and paranoid for awhile but continued to show support for younger wrestlers — I think we’ve got a more complicated picture than “Maniac Plans Murders.” We’ve got a tragedy, and the reason it’s a tragedy (besides the fact that two innocent people are dead, including a child) is that a man who isn’t easily depicted as a monster, who didn’t live a poor life, who wasn’t known for trouble, lost his grip on reality.
In related news, the rumor on the Internet is that the two wrestlers named in the indictment of Benoit’s doctor were Mark Jindrak, who doesn’t wrestle with WWE anymore (and didn’t amount to much while there), and Rey Mysterio Jr., who is a “Cruiserweight” (read: lightweight) and a fan favorite. If that’s true, it should be interesting to see what consequence Rey Mysterio suffers.