(Secret) Servicing a Sensitive Dick
October 15th, 2006If you’ve ever wondered about corrupt Congressmen, who they are and what they do, you should take a look Beyond DeLay and check out that site’s handy checklist of crooked politicians. These guys are so smarmy they’d feel cozy in the Politburo.
Beyond that, I’d like to reference everyone to two articles that illustrate, to me, a White House and Treasury Department gone mad. A man in Colorado told Dick Cheney that his policies were reprehensible, and our dear friend Dick (who is as sensitive as his good friend Clitoris, whose sensitivity he had once criticized…) sent the Secret Service after him to allege that he’d been “assaulted.” A Secret Service Agent arrested him, and threatened to have his son taken by Social Services but the boy ran off and found his mother. The man was held in prison for three hours and had his charge reduced to “harassment,” which was later dropped altogether. All I know is,
Now, let me be clear: if I were arrested for criticizing one of our Dear Leaders to their unattractive and dishonest faces, I’d have no fear because this is how the Bush Administration allows its Secret Service to operate: arrest someone, hold them a few hours, and then charge them with something minor that eventually gets dropped. It’s a power play on their part, and nothing more. The White House knows that it can’t genuinely send a man to prison for telling one of them that they should be ashamed, but they allow the SS to harass people just to send a message. That’s how I see the White House and SS working when incidents occur with the President and Vice President in the vicinity. In other cases, the Secret Service just seems a little paranoid, like in this case, wherein they went after a fourteen year old girl who had posted a “Kill Bush” message on MySpace. Before they’d even gone after her, however, she deleted it, as she’d been informed that it’s illegal to “threaten” the President.
All the same, the SS decided it’d be worth their time and money to go after the girl and speak with her, pulling her out of class and hounding her mother, too, to ask questions. This isn’t as gross an abuse of power as what happened to the man who called Cheney’s policies reprehensible, but all the same, it’s an example of waste and a lack of intelligence on the Secret Service’ part. Really, man, someday, I’m going to be in a position to give orders to the Secret Service, and when I do, I fully intend to tell them not to spend time protecting me from fourteen year old girls and their MySpace pages.
A couple of years ago, I believe I was a Sophomore at the time, two of my friends (both girls) had a silly little notebook in which they wrote about killing people. They fantasized a little about people they’d like to kill, who they hate, and then they wrote silly little stories in which they proceeded to kill the Steroid-Taking Governor of California, the President, and silly little classmates of ours. It was found by a Teacher who turned it into the office who called the police. Through the police, the Secret Service was notified (because Bush was killed in the story) and the SS came to our school to question my dear friends. They were let go, but I wish I’d have been there to hear what they had to say.
“So, yeah. Are you going to kill the President by having your pet unicorn ram its horn through his heart?”
“Uh, no,” says my friend.
“Very well then. Live long and prosper! Don’t kill the President, please!”
Actually, I’ve never asked them exactly what happened with their meeting. I’ll get those details soon, and have them to you, Dear Readers, by Tuesday. (Can you believe it? I never wrote about sex aside from mentioning what’s going on in the World before, and now I’ve loaded my last couple of posts with double entendres. Oh to hit puberty!)