Office of the Independent Blogger

Forgive me dear reader, for I have slacked. I promised a Tuesday return, but I’ve not returned until today, and for that I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, there is now new, absolute, undeniable proof that the Bush White House is absolutely retarded.

Her head didn’t spin around, but Sen. Hillary Clinton was momentarily tongue-tied when a reporter asked what she made of Bush adviser Karl Rove bringing in three Catholic priests to cast her evil spirit from her old West Wing office - as reported in the new Rove bio, “The Architect.” After a long pause, Clinton could say only: “I’m speechless.” Asked if she thought it was time for a new exorcism in the White House, the possible presidential candidate laughed uncomfortably and said, “Ah … let’s talk about the American automobile [industry],” which is what she’d been discussing before Rove’s name came up.

Really, I’m lost for words. I can only imagine what George Walker Bush did to cleanse the Oval Office of Bill Clinton, and so I will. I imagine that George Bush bought gallons of Holy Water and poured them about the Oval, and I speculate hereforth that the reason we have such budget deficits is that Rove spends money on exorcisms and George Bush, I don’t know, pours Holy Water all over the Oval Office. Presumably, this Holy Water would crack the floorboards and lead to serious reconstructions in the Oval Office.

Hey, if they can claim that Hillary Clinton is a lesbian having an affair with Vince Foster despite it, I can claim that the Administration has wrecked the floors of the White House with Holy Water, right?

Here in Illinois, the big news of the week is that former Governor Ryan has been sentenced to six years in prison. Earlier, he had pled for a shorter sentence because he’s an old man, and if he were sent to jail for over thirty months, it’d be the equivelant of a death sentence. That takes a lot of nerve, from my point of view, to say, “I shouldn’t be fully sentenced because I might die in there.” There’s a good article here on the ethics of my crooked ex-Governor, so enjoy it. And enjoy the fact that I’m back.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 7th, 2006 at 6:59 pm and is filed under Outside Retort (Current Affairs).