Apples and Oranges
May 13th, 2006Clinton Defeats Bush! At least, he does according to the the polling of the President. In related news, George Bush responded to the news by labeling the poll “unfair,” stating that comparing him to Bill Clinton is like comparing competence to incompetence. A good point, if I do say so myself, now let us move on to more important news.
Robert Novak’s latest report contains much anger. Liberal Democrats are upset with Howard Dean; Conservative Republicans with Bill Frist; Congressman Jerry Lewis with Major Leader Boehner; and the muffin man with the baker. It’s a tense year, this year of 2006, and everyone is looking to gain a political edge: that’s why some are upset with Dean, Frist and Boehner. Re-alignment elections don’t come often, and when they do, you’ve got to stand and deliver.
As far as the anger toward Dean, I don’t much mind his actions. Apparently, some are upset because he’s spending money in states like Mississippi where we’re not likely to gain a single thing this cycle or next. To me, the point is mooted by the fact that change isn’t an overnight thing, and you’ve got to build the party before you can win the election. By that measure, Dean is doing an excellent job. Besides, that state isn’t too far gone that Democrats have no hope of survival: had Trent Lott decided not to run for re-election there, the odds were good that Democrats would take that Senate seat. Fight them everywhere, I say. That’s why you raise the money, isn’t it?
With regard to the Conservative anger, they have a point in being angry with Frist and Boehner. The Republican Leadership is doing an excellent job at leading the GOP off a cliff, if I do say so myself.
Earlier in the week, I promised that I’d link to Iran’s letter to Bush once it’s released. I’ll keep that promise, and here it is. To tell you the truth, I think it’s a piece of trash. I find it to be so full of inaccurate notions — I’d say “dishonesty” but he believes his wacky assertions about things such as American human rights, despite his nation’s committing such heinous actions as hanging homosexuals for being homosexuals — that it isn’t worthy of a committed, intellectual response. If someone sent me this letter, I’d write them back with a brief “Thank you for the interesting read” note and leave it at that.
Unfortunately, Bush can’t just play it off as the ravings of an absurdity because they’re the ravings of an absurdity who rules a nation, and Fred Kaplan, my favorite columnist except for Mark Steyn, has his own advice on how to respond to Mahmoud, and he’s right, as usual. Iran needs an answer, and a real one at that for all the reasons that Kaplan states. It’s diplomatic before anything else, and there’s nothing to lose in corresponding with him. A reply would increase America’s leverage in the world and — if written with eloquence — could be a breakthrough moment in foreign policy history.
Sadly, we’re talking about George W. Bush, and I’ve got the teensiest inkling that he won’t be writing back. What makes me think that? This, for one (from Kaplan):
If Bush doesn’t reply to the letter, he will unavoidably give the impression that he’s simply not interested in talking. And the impression seems to reflect the reality. Flynt Leverett, a Middle East specialist formerly with the National Security Council and the CIA, recently told the Council on Foreign Relations that, in the spring of 2003, just after the U.S. invasion of Iraq, the Bush administration received a message from the Iranian government—sent through the Swiss Embassy, a long-standing intermediary—laying out a diplomatic agenda to resolve all the differences between the two countries. Bush ignored the message—and, in fact, criticized the Swiss government for passing it along. According to Leverett, Bush regarded the Iranian regime as “fundamentally illegitimate”; to communicate with it would be to legitimize it.
For another, there’s what Bill Maher said about Bush a while back in one of his new rules.
Everyone has to stop pretending that George Bush is so macho. Because, plainly, he acts like a girl. Not a woman — a girl. Not a week goes by when John Kerry isn’t attacked because he said something that hurt someone’s feelings. According to Bush spokesmen, Kerry lost the first debate because of his “new insult” to our allies when he said the coalition wasn’t genuine. Poland had Lithuania over for a debate party that night, and now they can’t look at each other without crying. All of the attacks on Kerry involve his thoughtless words at the expense of someone’s feelings: He hurt the Iraqi prime minister when he said he wasn’t legitimate — the bitch; he hurt the troops in Iraq when he said it was the wrong war at the wrong time — men!; he hurt the Vietnam vets when he totally broke the girl code and told everybody about their atrocities. And worst of all, he hurt the president’s feelings when he laughed at Whoopi Goldberg’s jokes.
And another thing about John Kerry: He uses Botox, he spends too much time on his hair, and he’s two-faced — flip-flopper! “Also, I bet John Kerry didn’t deserve any of those medals. I woulda gone to stupid old Vietnam, but I wanted to be a stay-at-home soldier.” Excuse me, this president isn’t resolute: He’s on the rag. He stopped having press conferences, which is basically saying, “I’m not talking to you.” He couldn’t testify before the 9/11 commission without having a man by his side. I’ll bet when they have lunch, Cheney orders for him. And then he just eats the salad. They say Kerry is too sensitive, but they’re the ones who turn everything into a big baby mama drama. Bush is the one who looked all crampy and pouty last week: “It’s hard work” — I kept waiting for him to say, “If you don’t like how I do your shirts, then iron them yourself.”
He even ran for president like a girl in 2000. Promising to “restore dignity to the Oval Office.” What man gives a rat’s ass about restoring an office? A real man thinks the Oval Office lost all its integrity the day Monica Lewinsky stopped coming in there to blow the president. And then, in the one area — I’m talking about Iraq — where he could use being a little in touch with his feminine side, he acts like the typical stupid male, who gets himself lost, won’t admit it, and won’t stop and ask for directions. No matter that we’ve already taken 10 wrong turns and are heading for what seems like it could be a cliff — no, he’s not stopping, not listening to anybody, not reading the instructions, just insisting, “Please, I know what I’m doing.”
Yes, it might just be that Bush won’t want to deal with Iran for fear of hurt feelings. You know, “my father and his friends waged a proxy war against you. We so can’t chill after school!” We’ll see what happens, but Bush loves to let opportunities go like Nixon loved wiretaps. We all know where Nixon’s love led him.
You know what the best headline I read today was? CIA Needs New President.
That, my readers, is the exact price of butter in Langley.